[AU] to find all you seek

[the_seafarer]

It is hardly unusual that the door opens. 

It is slightly unusual, perhaps, that it opens seemingly on its own, onto a warm green land bordered by a calm, gleaming sea that smells of salt and something like lilies.

With such a view, anyone glancing out the door might be forgiven if they did not see the individual for whom it opened – not unless they glanced down.

And then down some more, where a mouse – a Mouse – stands on its back legs, studying the room before it with a soldier's practiced eye. It is about a foot high, darkly furred, and a scarlet feather nods rakishly from a golden circlet it wears about one ear. 

Apparently making up its mind, the Mouse enters, and the door closes. 

(One story ends, and another begins.)

The Mouse scurries – er, climbs – to the top of a seat at the Bar and lifts its small, impatient voice. "Hey there!" it calls. "Who is master of this alehouse?"

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[the_seafarer]

He isn't actually tired; what he wants is to go out to the peaceful stable, where the horses will not ask any questions aside from soft, curious inquiries about their next meal.

But going back out into the bar area would ruin the lie, so he returns instead to his rooms, his mind troubled and his ears full of Rilian's voice stating unequivocally that he has no idea who the man before him might be.

He can't sit and he can't rest, so he paces instead, worrying it over and over in his head like a dog refusing to let go of a bone.

[sai_delgado]

She convinces Cuthbert that she’s truly all right and he doesn’t need to keep her company further. From his wry expression, he kens exactly why, but he lets himself be coaxed all the same.

Once he leaves, Susan takes her work basket back to her room and then has a quiet conversation with Bar. Having learned what she needs, she goes up the stairs and down the hallways until she finds Caspian’s rooms, then takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

[the_seafarer]

The knock startles him from his thoughts, and his expression when he opens the door is wry but not surprised.

"Hullo, Su," he says, and opens the door more widely, inviting her inside. "Come to check on me?"

[sai_delgado]

“Aye,” she murmurs. Susan turns to look at him as soon as she’s inside, searching his face.

“I thought mayhap thee wouldn’t want to be alone with yer thoughts.”

[the_seafarer]

"As usual, you're right."

He closes the door and turns back to her. His quarters are neat and comfortable; two large reading chairs sit by the window, near a glowing oil lamp and a bookshelf, and the four-poster bed is made up with blankets in varying shades of scarlet. He gestures for her to make herself comfortable.

"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. I hope Cuthbert wasn't offended."

[sai_delgado]

“He weren’t, and thee needn’t apologize,” she tells him.

Susan glances at the chairs, then back at him. Biting her lip, she takes a step toward him instead, and reaches for his hand.

“He didn’t know. Doesn’t. He didn’t mean to hurt thee so.”

[the_seafarer]

"Of course not," he assures her. He takes her hand as she reaches for him, leading her over to one of the large, squashy chairs. He takes a seat and tugs gently, coaxing her to sit either on the arm or on his lap.

"And he didn't, truly. Not 'Bert. It's not his fault."

[sai_delgado]

She settles carefully on his lap, light as a butterfly and as ready to rise again at any hint he’d prefer otherwise.

“I kennit.” She searches his face, then gently lays one hand against his cheek.

[the_seafarer]

He puts his arms around her as she sets her fingers lightly against his face.

"It's a good saying," he says, wry. "I hope he never finds how accurate it is in truth."

[sai_delgado]

Susan brushes her thumb over his cheekbone. “He won’t, for himself, I wot. And I didn’t - I didn’t tell him.”

Softly, very softly, she adds, “He knew thee eventually, Caspian. He’ll not be lost forever. But oh, I — say sorry, I do.”

[the_seafarer]

He nods, but the few words he can find choke in his throat; he only pulls her a little closer and lowers his head to her shoulder, closing his eyes to take comfort in her sweetness and warmth.

[sai_delgado]

She wraps her arms around him and holds him close, curving one hand around the back of his neck to cradle his head against her.

[the_seafarer]

When he speaks again, it's without letting her go, and with a voice that's level and quiet.

"If he comes in again," he says, finally allowing himself to speak the words he hasn't even wanted to think, "I don't know how I'll bear it."

[sai_delgado]

“Thee won’t have to bear it alone, if he does,” she promises. “And mayhap, if he does, there’ll be something that can be done to help him.”

[the_seafarer]

"Perhaps," he agrees, and holds her a little closer.

"I'll tell 'Bert, Su. I'd not have you worry about keeping my secrets from your friends."

[sai_delgado]

With his head resting against her shoulder, he won’t see the way tears spring to her eyes, and oh, but she’s glad of it.

(no more secrets)

“Only if thee wants,” she whispers. “And if thee want him to, but wouldn’t — I can tell him, if thee’d rather have it so.”

[the_seafarer]

He shakes his head against her shoulder.

"Better it come from me," he says, soft. "And you needn't be there, if you wish. I know it reminds you of a terrible time for you."

[sai_delgado]

She draws her fingers through his hair. “The moon were pink,” she whispers.

Susan presses a gentle kiss to the crown of his head. “Don’t thee worry about that, Caspian, say true.”

[the_seafarer]

He shivers as she runs her fingers through his hair and makes a soft sound at the kiss she places there, his arms tightening around her.

"I ought to have told him just now, I suppose," he murmurs. "But I couldn't bear having to explain it to Reepicheep. He'll be crushed."

[sai_delgado]

“Thee did nothing wrong,” she assures him, carding her fingers through his blond locks. “There’s time to figure out what to tell yer friend, and how, and when.”

“‘Bert kens something’s amiss, aye, but he were only concerned. He’ll not press thee.”

[the_seafarer]

He nods. "So there will."

He flattens his hand against her back, gentle. "Thank you, Su. For giving me a way out. And for coming to see me now."

[sai_delgado]

“Thee are welcome,” she says, gently. “I wanted to.”

[the_seafarer]

He shifts his head on her shoulder and leans up to press a kiss to her neck.

"You are kind," he murmurs.

[sai_delgado]

She shivers and holds him a little closer.

“Thee very dear,” she says, oh, so softly.

[the_seafarer]

Caspian leans back to look up at her, lifting one hand from her back to tuck a lock of golden hair behind her ear.

"Stay a while?"